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The 10 Worst Books To Read While Expecting

by Christopher O’Halloran (@BurgleInfernal)

For better or worse, 2020 provided many a surplus of free time. Some took the chance to learn a new language or a new instrument. Some tried their hand at breadmaking or crocheting. Some took the time to become better acquainted with their partner. To reignite the spark in their relationship.

Well, that spark can kindle a fire in the oven…and I’m not talking about bread anymore.

While experts are forecasting a baby-bust in North America, anecdotal evidence has shown that babies are on their way in record amounts. If you aren’t preggo, you likely know someone who is. One only has to reactivate their Facebook account to see the myriad celebratory posts.

Celebration, however, often goes hand-in-hand with anxiety.

When my significant other was pregnant in 2019, like other dads, I devoured the parenting books. How to prepare for the birth, how to support mama, and how to be a loving partner once baby came.

I also found myself reading a ton of horror centered around pregnancy, babies, and raising children. It wasn’t deliberate, but it seemed like every other book I opened either featured demonic children or a world that was determined to take your baby away in some terrible accident.

Was it a mistake to read all those books? Who’s to say?

But we’ll give you the tools—ranked 1-10, from fetus to teen—to make that decision on your own. If nothing else, reading these stories will make the real-life horrors of raising a kid seem like child’s play!

Cover of Rosemary's Baby; shows a cityscape with a baby buggy/pram floating in the air above the city

1. ROSEMARY’S BABY BY IRA LEVIN

Rosemary’s Baby is the story of an idyllic couple planning for the future of their family. Despite career struggles, they decide to bring new life to their apartment, and Rosemary becomes pregnant. The trouble is, things don’t go according to plan. Any mother knows that a birth plan requires room for improvisation, but nothing about Rosemary’s pregnancy feels normal to her.

Goodreads Amazon

Cover of In the Tall Grass by Stephen King and Joe Hill. Cover shows tall stalks of grass in the background behind the text

2. IN THE TALL GRASS BY STEPHEN KING AND JOE HILL

We’ve seen enough horror movies to know that following a disembodied voice into the unknown is a bad idea, but when those maternal instincts kick in, pregnant Becky charges into the tall grass to rescue a lost boy. Being lost is one thing; being lost while pregnant is a whole ‘nother.

Bookshop* | Goodreads Amazon

Cover of Inferno by Catherino Cho. Cover shows a woman's shadow against a wall.

3. INFERNO BY CATHERINE CHO

The body and mind do some wild things after giving birth. Hormones fluctuate wildly, returning to a pre-pregnancy baseline in a way that is often unpleasant. In Catherine Cho’s case, she finds herself suffering from postpartum psychosis, leading to a new parent’s worst fear: being taken away from their baby.

Bookshop* | Goodreads Amazon

Cover of The Changeling by Victor Lavalle. Cover shows drawing of a forest full of trees with bare branches. The whole image is tinted blue, except for the baby basket, which is sitting on its own the forest floor between the trees. A baby's legs protrude from the basket.

4. THE CHANGELING BY VICTOR LAVALLE

Caring for a newborn isn’t easy. There are hardships and challenges you never see coming. Family members who insist on kissing your baby. Differing opinions with your spouse on child-rearing. The inevitable bump and subsequent bumps that learning how to move brings. You do whatever you can to protect your child. Cover hard edges with pool noodles. Affix gates at the top and bottom of every staircase. Spend hours researching what shape cucumbers need to be cut into to avoid choking.

But what if it’s not enough?

Bookshop* | Goodreads Amazon

Cover of We Need to Talk About Kevin by Lionel Shriver. Cover shows a young boy with his hands in his pocket; his face is in shadow.

5. WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT KEVIN BY LIONEL SHRIVER

What’s worse: something terrible happening to your child, or your child committing such heinous acts that you wonder if the bundle of joy you brought home is capable of joy at all?

Bookshop* | Goodreads Amazon

Cover of Pet Sematary by Stephen King. Cover shows a cat baring fangs and a landscape in the background with a person's silhouette and a graveyard.

6. PET SEMATARY BY STEPHEN KING

Try not to raise your family beside a highway.

Bookshop* | Goodreads Amazon

Cover of Baby Teeth by Zoje Stage. Cover shows a red lollipop against a cream background. The lollipop is crushed.

7. BABY TEETH BY ZOJE STAGE

You can love your child all you want, but that doesn’t guarantee your child will love you back. What do you do when your sweet baby decides you are their enemy? How do you defend yourself against someone so dear to you?

Bookshop* | Goodreads Amazon

Cover of Let The Right One In by John Ajvide Lindqvist. Cover shows a child running; the child is blurred and the background, displaying stark, leafless trees, is in focus.

8. LET THE RIGHT ONE IN BY JOHN AJVIDE LINDQVIST

Latchkey kids will get up to trouble no matter how much you think you can trust them. They’ll try substances they shouldn’t. They’ll almost burn the house down while cooking.

They’ll befriend vampires and entertain desires to maim and murder.

Bookshop* | Goodreads Amazon

Cover of The Exorcist by William Peter Blatty. Cover shows a slightly blurred demonic face that is tinted red, against a black background.

9. THE EXORCIST BY WILLIAM PETER BLATTY

Every parent knows the pain of a child waking up in the middle of the night, coming to your door, and explaining that they’ve puked in their bed. It’s inevitable. All you can do is clean up the mess and comfort your little one.

When the vomit spews projectile-style and is followed by vile curses and straight blasphemy, you’ll need more than a hot-water bottle and some loving cuddles to solve the problem.

Bookshop* | Goodreads Amazon

Cover of Beloved By Toni Morrison. Cover is red with gold text and no images.

10. BELOVED BY TONI MORRISON

We all want the best for our kids. We do our best to protect them. Sometimes in the quest to do so, however, we end up causing more harm.

Luckily, life is full of second chances.

Bookshop* | Goodreads Amazon

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Check out Kealan Patrick Burke’s novellas Blanky and Sour Candy. One deals with the unexpected loss of a child, and the other deals with the unexpected acquisition of a child. Both are creepy as hell!

Blanky: Goodreads Amazon
Sour Candy: Bookshop* | Goodreads Amazon

Author Christopher O'Halloran and his significant other
Christopher O’Halloran and his partner Stephanie, 2019

Christopher O‘Halloran—HWA and HOWLS member—is a milk-slinging, Canadian actor-turned-author previously published by Hellbound Books, Tales to Terrify Podcast, The Dread Machine, and others. Despite transitioning to writing, Chris still puts his acting diploma to use; he acts like a fool for chuckles from his wife and son at home in British Columbia. He’s co-editor and contributor for the anthology Howls From Hell featuring a foreword by Grady Hendrix. Fans of stories about vein-removal and Phoenix-women against the patriarchy can visit COauthor.ca for stories, reviews, and updates on his upcoming novel, Pushing Daisy. Contact him there or on Twitter @Burgleinfernal.



*The HOWLS Bookshop.org affiliate storefront pays a 10% commission to HOWL Society and gives a matching 10% to independent bookstores

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